Scraped Knees and Patched Up Hearts

     So this week has been interesting. It’s been one of the worst and one of the best on this trip so far. Last Monday was a good day, but Monday night was really hard. I felt so spiritually empty and dry. I guess I had just been putting it off so I wouldn’t think about it, but in our small groups we all voiced that we all felt the same and there was no more denying it to myself. I got really frustrated and upset about it so I grabbed my iPod and went and sat on the steps outside and kinda had it out with Jesus. I told him how exactly how I felt and as always, he never failed to show up. I felt reconnected with God that night and it was exactly what I needed. Then Tuesday was the beginning of our week of ATL (ask the Lord) ministry. We just prayed to see what God wanted us to do an automatically I got “Love my children” and “orphanage”. The 6 of us who got that made our way to Mama Orphanage Children’s Home where we spent a few hours. My heart almost broke for those poor kids when I was standing in their play area. It was so different from playing with kids at a school because they can go home to their families, but the ones at the orphanage are at home. They don’t have anyone to love on them or spend one-on-one time with them. The 3 kids most attached to me just wanted to stand by me and hold my hand and rub my arm. When one little boy kissed my hand and pressed it to his face it broke my heart. Sadly, that was my only good day of ministry this week. Or at least that’s how it felt. We went to the hospital Tuesday evening, but even that was different. I just didn’t feel connected to the people. So Wednesday I felt like I was supposed to stay back at the church and spend some time with God in the Word. It was a good morning, but when I went to the orphanage later on, I just couldn’t get into it. It was extremely frustrating. And the rest of the week went the same. No ministry I did seemed good. I had awesome mornings and nights when I spent time with God, but my ministry during the day was just bad. I talked to Katie and Josh about it and they really poured truth into me. Even if they didn’t feel like they were saying anything significant it was exactly what I needed to hear and was really encouraging.
     
     Friday was a breakthrough though. I prayed and all God told me was “Seek Me.” I thought that meant by walking around Busia praying and seeing what he lead me to, but after somehow getting stuck at the church, I realized he meant in prayer and the Bible. Before I started reading, we had an awesome talk. He affirmed what Katie and Josh told me that it was ok to have good mornings and nights, but off days. He was doing a work in me that couldn’t be done by other people. And I just needed to wait it out because it was gonna be worth it. He also showed me that I was getting exactly what I asked for. At the beginning of the trip, something I really desired was to fall more in love with God. If I want to do that, I need to spend more time with Him and quit focusing so much on other people for the time being. And I found an awesome verse that just really spoke to me (at the bottom). I just felt so revived and encouraged about everything and that good was coming. Then Kelsey, Stacy, and I went “prayer walking” around Busia, aka walking through a village, meeting people, and unknowingly crossing into Uganda, while having awesome life conversations. God just showed up everywhere that day.
     
     But the fun of Friday still wasn’t over. Josh asked Meg and I to go for a run and, me not wanting to be lazy, agreed to go with them. This week we’ve been fasting breakfast and lunch but not everyone felt like they were supposed to go the whole time. I however was still doing it so running was just not a good idea and I couldn’t go very long. They were walking me back and when we got kinda close I decided to finish it strong. We started running again and about a minute later I feel this awful pop and pain in my ankle and I’m on the ground. Dang roots stick up and you can’t even see them. Meg and Josh stop to help me and make sure I can still move my foot and I hobble my way back to the house and just walk it off. When I get back though, I see it’s swollen and my knee is all scraped up. But I, being the optimist I am, just go about things normally because the more I use it, the better I think it gets. Wrong. Saturday I wake up at 5:20am and barely make it to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I struggle my way back into the room and start getting ready while weighing the pros and cons of going to the church and staying back at the house. Before I make my mind up, Tiffany comes and tells me I should stay. I very slowly and painfully make my way down the stairs and outside to go borrow and book and I run into Kiersten. She wraps my ankle before they head off to the church and I have to make my way back upstairs. I didn’t know how much I enjoyed going to morning prayer until I couldn’t go. Then later on most people got to go do ministry with the street kids and I had to stay back again. But at least I hurt myself on a day when other people stayed back sick because it was actually pretty fun. And when it was time to head to the church for supper, the people who hadn’t left yet took botas with me. I woke up yesterday morning and whoever has been praying for me must have some good connection with God because my ankle was hardly bothering me at all. I could walk normal for the most part and it didn’t bother me too much to walk to church. I also unwrapped it to find some nice colors decorating my still large ankle, and my foot and leg. Mixed with some African dirt, I’d say it looks quite pretty and was worth the fall J.  And for lunch a few of us went and ate at Fast Food & Cakes and as soon as we left it started pouring down rain. While running to the “cover” of a tree I step on a hidden rock and twist my other ankle. No worries though. This one I can just walk off.
   
     This week has been challenging but also very rewarding. God and I broke some new ground and it’s awesome! Please pray for health over our team. Over half of the people have had to go to the clinic because of sickness. Also pray for encouragement in ministry and in our walks with God. Thanks!
     
“Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!” Psalm 105:4