Week #3: 10-06-2010
This is What it Means to be Held….
“We’re asking why this happens to us who have died to live. It’s unfair. But….This is what it means to be held, how it feels when the sacred is torn from your life and you survive. This is what it is to be loved and to know that the promise was when everything fell….we’d be held. ….If hope is born of suffering; If this is only the beginning, can we not wait for one hour waiting for our Savior?” -Natalie Grant, “Held”
If we’re going to get real and honest, I guess it’s safe to say that I’ve frequently found myself questioning God over the past week as to why He could allow there to e so much heartache and pain in a world that HE created full of HIS children that I thought He WANTED to see happy. Fair question, right? It doesn’t make sense, right? Children dying in their mothers’ arms. Families living under a Unicef tarp going days with absolutely no food. Children herding cattle instead of attending school because, at the age of 7, it’s their full time job. By our standards, it’s unfair. One thing I really believe God’s been teaching me this week is simply this: it’s not about our standards. God is a weird guy. He does mysterious things that I believe we’re not supposed to know the answers to. God is God, and quite frankly, Brittany’s not. No matter how much I want or seem to have all the answers, that will never EVER be the case, and after this week, I’m SO very thankful for that. You see, if I were to have all the answers all of the time, I’d have no need or desire to cry out to the God of Creation. His ways are so far above mine that it’s unfathomable. Leave the world in my hands for a mere millisecond, and it’d be a total flop. Thank you JESUS that YOU have it under control.
Another tough lesson I’ve learned in retrospect to the above is that true hope is born of suffering. It requires us to reach out and lean on something so much bigger than ourselves. Suffering for any cause produces endurance, courage, faith, and hope. I had the unique opportunity to get involved at the local hospital here in Kijabe this week. It is undoubtedly one of the best and most prestigious medical facilities in the country of Kenya and many students and doctors come from all over the world to volunteer here and learn more about the human body. I say this is a unique opportunity because under no circumstances would I have been able to see and partake in many of the things I did this week back in the U.S. The medical and nursing students on our team (Sam, Colleen, Ryan, and myself) were handed scrubs, hair nets, and surgical masks on our first day in the hospital and were then escorted to the O.R. where we were able to be actively involved in observing several surgeries throughout the day. To say that I was beyond excited is an understatement. I saw things I’ve never seen before. I saw skin grafts. I saw tumors removed. Reconstruction take place. I saw modern medicine change people’s lives and give them a fighting chance to be a productive member of society. I saw modern medicine change MY life this week. I know that this is what God has in store for my life and there’s no doubt that this hospital ministry is one of the main reasons God has placed me in Kenya this semester.
I say all of this to point out that in the midst of the healing through modern medicine that I was so fortunate to observe, I also saw just as much suffering and pain. Some patients were diagnosed with incurable illnesses that will forever affect their lives. But that reminds me again that TRUE hope is born of suffering. Jesus suffered. I expect to have to suffer if I expect to become more and more like Him. It’s in our weakest moments that our Sovereign God is strongest. When we can no longer hope in the things of this world to keep us happy and healthy, we MUST place our hope in Him. Quite frankly, placing our hope in Him is our ONLY option, for the things of this world will quickly pass away. In doing so, I’ve seen broken lives healed, restored, and made new. Often times we DO find ourselves questioning God just like I have this week. But His promise WASN’T that we’d have all the answers all the time. His promise is that we would be loved unconditionally and that we would know that when everything fell….we’d be held.
Check out these references for more in depth study:
*1 Peter 3:14-17
*1 Peter 4:19
*Romans 8: 18, 24-25
*Romans 5: 3-6
Hugs and Kisses to Richmond Hill, Folkston, and Destin. My heart is truly all over the world tonight.
Love you Mama, Daddy, Laul, Mema, Papa, and Shawn….but most importantly……. LITTLE PRESLEY!! MOMMY MISSES YOU!! 🙂
Around the world and back,
Britt
