My team has been having incredible experiences in ministry thus far, but I seemed to be missing out on all of them. Reading my Bible one morning, I came across Matthew 17:14-22, which tells of Jesus healing a demon possessed boy because the disciples could not drive it out. When the disciples asked why they could not heal the boy, Jesus replied, “'Because you have so little faith.'” This story made me realize that I hadn't been in the groups when the life-changing events happened because I had so little faith in God's miracles on earth today. So, why would God allow me to witness something I didn't even fully believe in? I was just having trouble believing that God can work miracles through us, ordinary people. After much thought and prayer, I truly began to believe in God's power to heal and do the impossible on earth today.
One ministry day, I was walking down the road with my group when we came across a little girl with bowed legs hobbling up the hill. I felt very drawn to this little girl, almost as if God was telling me to go to her. Her name is Ann, she's eight years old, and she also has a speech impairment. So, I called my team over to pray for her, and we laid hands on her as we prayed for healing. During prayer, it started raining, so after we finished I decided to carry her home. Part of this decision was based on the compassion I felt for her and because I knew it would take her a long time to get up the muddy hill on her unsteady, weak legs. But I also felt deep in my heart that I needed to carry her home, and I realized in the moment that this was a command from God.
When I picked Ann up, she put her arms around my neck, totally fine with me holding her, despite the fact that she's never been held by, or possibly even seen, a white person before. After the first or second step I took, I got a sudden sharp pain in my right leg. I can't explain where the pain came from because I didn't slip, take a misstep, or experience any discomfort earlier in the day. And she was surprisingly lite, weighing almost nothing, or so it felt. The only explanation I have is that God allowed me to feel the pain that she would have felt had I not carried her. So, I carried Ann home, limping the whole way there. I left Ann with her siblings inside her house, as her parents were nowhere to be found. The pain in my leg continued on my way back, but disappeared once I got back to my group. My leg was pain free for the next four hours of ministry, as we hiked from home to home. The one time it returned was the first time that I told my story to a teammate. Every time we said Ann's name, I got a shot of pain in my leg, like I was reliving the experience in my head.
I pondered what this pain could possibly mean, and I learned several things. Our whole lives, God tries to pick us up and carry us. When we allow Him to, He takes away our pain and feels it for Himself as he carries us home. That day, God allowed me to be His hands and feet to carry His precious daughter home. By physically allowing me to feel pain, God was telling me that I'm a compassionate person by nature. When I see people suffering, my heart breaks and I feel their pain as my own. I've been told this before, but I always had difficulty believing in the depth and power of my compassion. I feel so deeply connected to my Ann and love her in an unexplainable way.
The last day of ministry at this tribe, I got the opportunity to visit Ann once more. We found her on the side of the road sitting in the dirt. As we talked and played with her, I noticed that her right leg is turned inward, a major factor in her mobility problems. This observation was just another confirmation that my connection to Ann comes from God, as it was my right leg that pained me as well. We discovered that Ann has a bright mind; it's just her body that is weak, likely from a muscle disorder. My teammate Breanne told me that as I prayed for her, Ann looked at me with a face of total love. To my delight, she remembered my face as the “mzungu” (white person) who carried her up the hill. I didn't feel any physical pain while I was with her, only emotional pain and tears during prayer. In ways, the emotional pain was harder to deal with than any physical pain I could have experienced.
I have complete faith that God is slowly healing Ann's legs and speech, and one day she will be made new. It was hard returning and not seeing Ann just miraculously healed even though I prayed hard for that. I've had to learn that God's time is not my time, and His way is not my way. If God chooses to heal Ann, it will be when he believes the time is right. But I will continue praying for my Ann everyday, and I believe the day she's healed will come on earth. This experience was the most real, tangible display of God working in my life, and I know God allowed this experience because of my strengthened belief in His power. I'm so thankful for the pain, love, and lesson! I will always hold little Ann dear in my heart!
