Secret’s From My Journal

August 27- Training Camp. Georgia
We are on our second day of camp. After a terrible night of sleep and my first time sleeping outside, EVER. I am tired, sore and dirty. All summer I have felt so ready for this trip, but now… I’m wondering what I have gotten myself into. I don’t sleep in sleeping bags! I don’t sleep outside! I don’t go a day without looking in the mirror. Jesus, let me know your love in ways I’ve never imagined. Let me feel your love wrap around me. God, the love you had for me in the States will be just as powerful as the love you have for me in Kenya.
 
August 29- Training Camp. Georgia
God, what do you have planned for my life? What have you called me to do? You have placed so many passions in my heart. I wish I could see a glimpse into the future.
 
The Holy Spirit always offends until there is nothing left to offend.
 
September 2- Kijabe, Kenya
God, I pray for unity in our team. I pray for humility and gentleness in myself. I pray we each have patience with each other and put one another first. Help us to love and not to hold grudges.
 
September 5- Maasai Tribe. Taingitatu, Kenya
Today is my first full day with the Maasai tribe. I am the only person who brought a single tent. I read 2 Kings 13:18-19 about Jehoash being blessed but stopping halfway so he didn’t receive as great of a blessing as he could have.
 
He will only do as much for us as we allow him to do in us.
 
September 6- Maasai Tribe. Taingitatu, Kenya
Today it finally felt like I was in Africa. We got to go to a little church gathering. I was holding a little girl who fell asleep in my arms and as I watched her, I thought of how much love I have for the people. I loved them before I got here.
 
September 9- Maasai Tribe. Taingitatu, Kenya
God, I think about home so much. So often my family’s faces are on my mind. Sometimes, I am ready to go home, and we are only on week two.
 
September 10- Maasai Tribe. Taingitatu, Kenya
Oh God, I have underestimated how enormous your love is. If you have called me here, then I should be here, without asking questions. God, you are so romantic that you have led me halfway across the world just to teach me and show me that you are the comforter. When I have no comforts, I know it must come from you.
 
September 18- Naivasha, Kenya
There is rarely complete silence in our souls, for God is always whispering into it, but sometimes, many times, outside noises distract us from listening to him.
 
Our lives must be quiet if we want to hear from God.
 
September 21- Naivasha, Kenya
…And God, you have forgiven me of everything. You have washed my slate clean. Completely clean.
 
September 25- Naivasha, Kenya
Lord, help me to know the difference between my voice, the enemy’s voice, and your voice. And help me only to listen to yours. Give me that discernment.
 
October 4- Pokot Tribe. Amaya, Kenya
Lord, I look at this time with you, almost as a honeymoon. I know you want my full attention so you can look at me and tell me I’m beautiful with my soul being satisfied in that.
 
October 10- Pokot Tribe. Amaya, Kenya
God, you have given us so much power through our voices. With your voice you spoke the world into motion. Help me to only speak words of life. Words filled with wisdom, encouragement, discernment, hope, love, joy, and gratitude.
 
October 17- Naivasha, Kenya
I painted my toes yesterday and I feel so much better! Funny how nice feet make me feel so good! I even put on my new toe ring from my Daddy!
 
Give me Your heart, break me down, build me up. May I be low to make You higher.
 
October 23- Mid-debrief. Nairobi, Kenya
Currently, I am eating Ramen in the dining area of the backpacking hostel we’re staying at. I am alone. Which is rare.
 
October 24- Mid-debrief. Nairobi, Kenya
Seven days left in October. What! Where has this month gone? I am excited, yet nervous; thrilled, yet sad; ready yet certain God isn’t done with me yet. If I were to give up now, it would be the same as me going home.
 
October 30- Slums of Naivasha, Kenya
Today my heart completely broke for Utah. We drove down the streets of the Kikuyu slums and I felt so numb to my surroundings. I looked out the window and knew where we were was a mission field, but all I could see were the streets of my town in Utah.
 
November 11- Naivasha, Kenya
I have worms. Yuck. Never thought I’d be able to say that.
 
Do with me as You please
I’m broken and surrendered
Face down on my knees
 
November 17- Naivasha, Kenya
I got a really deep message from my mom the other day and have spent hours praying and pondering over it. Basically she was asking me what my thesis statement was for my life and if I’m living that out in every area.
 
November 25- Naivasha, Kenya
I’ve been praying, doubting, worrying, and asking myself a million “what if” questions. We can go through life asking that over anything. I don’t want to live my life asking “what if”!
 
November 28- Naivasha, Kenya
I just found a note from Laura and I’m crying for the first time about leaving my team. Constantly being encouraged and shown love is beautiful and rare. 

December 1- Naivash, Kenya
We're in December? WHAT?!! Soaking up all the Africa I can get and so grateful God has given me such an amazing team.