Since being here in Kenya I've learned that there's a few things you just don't do. Some of these things have come from personal experience and some from the experiences of my teammates. For the pride of those involved I won't name any names…
Here is my incomplete list of things you should not do in Africa:
1. NEVER, I repeat never walk into a squatty barefoot. This is just an all around bad idea. Especially when your entire team is sitting there watching you. Just gross.
2. Don't wear short-shorts out in public.. unless of course you're hoping to find yourself an African King.
3. Don't try to play a loud game of signs at night. You will attract the random Africans walking outside and they will think you're crazy.
4. Don't tell the Kenyans how long it's been since you've showered. They will proceed to tell you how dirty you are and give you an overly graphic explanation on why showering is important.
5. Don't wash dishes or try to do any sort of cleaning in front of a Kenyan. They will chastize you and tell you that you are doing it wrong… and then just stare at you the entire time to make sure you do it correctly.
6. Don't walk away from a Ugandan police when they try to get your attention. This just never ends well.
7. If you decide to go exploring around Busia make sure you don't accidently cross the border into Uganda. You may be chased down by a random guy who's been following you but decided to wait until you're in Uganda to tell you that you shouldn't be there.
8. Don't sit sidesaddle on a boda boda if it has a skinny seat. It just doesn't make for an especially comfortable ride.
9. Don't try to get dreads in Africa. Just remember the Africans have no idea how to work with mzungu hair.
10. If you've joined the Jersey Club.. don't tell your teammates. They will proceed to laugh at you and won't let live it down.
