Since January 19, I have woken up to a land that I was only acquainted with through books, photographs, television, movies, or stories told by others. I've stepped foot outside of my humble home (a two person tent), and been greeted by a haze filtered view of the Great Rift Valley, banana trees in Meru, or, perhaps the dusty, desolate terrain surrounding Tangi Tatu.
The last few months of my life have been, quite easily, the best months of my life, riddled with the most stellar and most difficult experiences I have endured. From trying, so, so hard to be patient with my team, and growing so much in that, to trying to express to someone who doesn't understand a single word I am saying, how much God loves them, how much he desires to have them know him, and how much he wants to be involved in their life… and growing so, so much in that.
A few days ago, on Monday evening, young people from around the surrounding areas of Kijabe started mashing in to the youth hall that we have gladly called our home for some time now; it was the first evening of Kijabe mission's youth camp, and it was sure to disrupt the regularity we have grown used to since making this hall our own.
Initially, I was a bit… unsure, about this whole camp thing. Over a hundred strangers intruding on what was MY home for the last few months? Having to eat dinner with those strangers? Wait, talking to them and being a part of their small group discussions?
No thank you.
I approached Tuesday with little to no eagerness or excitement. Waking up nearly two hours before I normally would, I was not too pleased with this whole camp situation one bit. Going into the day, I felt less and less optimistic about the next few days; being on a fixed schedule, sitting around and listening to lots of sermons, and awkwardly involving myself in small group discussions.
Well, following lunch, things changed; things sure did change.
As soon as the dude who spoke in the afternoon was done, I trotted up to my room to grab my sweatshirt, and while I was in my room, I decided to lie down on my bed. Oh, it was so comfy, and, well, I hadn't slept too much the previous night… what harm would it do if I missed the afternoon small group discussion? I am sure no one remembers my name, let alone what I look like… would I be missed?
As I laid sprawled about on my bed, still comfy, still quite relaxing, I didn't feel right. I didn't feel like I was being honest. I knew the Lord was telling me to stop being lazy and to go to the small group. We debated for a little bit, I tried to pretend like we never even discussed whether or not I should go, but, eventually I broke, and agreed to go, so I drug myself out of bed and floated down the stairs and into the hall, where my group was sitting at a table, just about to start discussing 2 Peter 1:4-9.
This small group discussion marks the complete renewing of my attitude towards this whole camp experience. Getting to know the group some more, they are really rad people, with a thirst for knowledge about the Lord, and big hearts of worshipping and praising him. Even though they can be quiet during small groups, it was awesome to see how they dance and clap and sing for God during worship, with reckless abandon and little to no concern for what others around them might think.
The joy and solidarity I felt in this group of people I was supposed to be ministering to, well, it's something I have not felt for awhile now, at least a few weeks, and today was a fresh reminder of what sort of things God has allowed me to experience during the previous months I have spent here, and a reminder to keep my mind open and heart open to what else he might want to have me experience while I am here.
On May 7, I leave Kenya, at least for a few months (who knows what the future holds, yeah?). I don't want to look back and consider that I didn't give every ounce of energy towards making these last few weeks the best they can be, or to look back and think that maybe, just maybe, I suppressed the Spirit working through me.
God put me here for a reason, and I'm open to whatever he has for me to do here in this time I have remaining in this excellent country.
