Sunday, November 4th marks one month since my sister passed away. It still is extremely unbelievable for me, and I believe that’s probably why grieving is hitting me so hard at this time. But I know that God is my comfort. I know that Gods plan is still greater, better, and full of praises to him.
I find myself, at most times, just thinking of her. Whether it is a memory from when we were little, or just a silly argument that we always seemed to have. To be honest, I find myself just wishing for that time back, to be nicer, to listen longer, or to just hug her tighter. But, I know that dwelling on it won’t make her come back, so I stop.
I’ve learned that God is every bit as good in the hardest times of our lives as he is in the greatest times in our lives. I actually think that it’s during the trials that God seems more beautiful, maybe because he removes the things in our line of vision that are in the way, making it to where we can fully see him & see his plan. I feel like you never forget the things that God teaches you during the trials. When my mom passed away in 2008 God taught me to be still & trust that he is God & that he is good. Now with my sister’s death he has taught me that he is my comfort & that he is my joy and I will not find those things fully in anything else but him. I sometimes wish God could have taught me those lessons with a different situation, but I believe that I wouldn’t listen the way that I did.
As difficult as it is, I’m looking at trials as an opportunity to learn something new & beautiful about my Savior.
“…yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will take joy in the God of my salvation. God is my strength; He makes my feet like deer’s; he makes me tread on my high places.” – Habakkuk 3:18-19
