These past few days the physical part of me has felt terrible. However, these past few days the spiritual part of me has never been better. For those of you who don’t know me too well, I have been having heart issues for about the past 7 months. The doctors can’t explain it really, and don’t know what’s causing it or how to treat it. So it’s just this huge, mysterious burden I have to deal with. Kinda sucks when you’re in the middle of Africa, with blazing heat already messing with your body. So I haven’t been doing too well. However, I am not in the slightest bit worried. I could care less if I was like this the rest of my life. The pains I have could even get worse and that would be fine by me. “What‘s wrong with this girl? Is she crazy?” you ask yourself. These past few days I have been so intimately connected with God and He has just been screaming at me to give up all my doubts and fears concerning my health. It was one of the most unforgettable spiritual moments of my life…It was as if God was in the room with me and we were conversing. I would pray a question to God and then open up my Bible and find an answer within a matter of seconds after I said “Amen.” I surrendered this heart condition to the Ultimate Healer this week and it feels amazing. Yes, I still have pain and my heart is not healed, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be. That doesn’t mean that God can’t use this for His glory. That doesn’t mean I’m weak. Because through my conversation with God, He reassured me that I was going to be stronger than ever because now HE is my strength. To me this is better than being healed. This shows just how amazing our Lord and Savior is, that even though I may be physically weak, at the same time I’ve never felt stronger. Even though my human heart may be crappy, God has given me this new heart and it’s purpose is to love Him and to love others and that’s all my heart is needed for anyways! Crazy to comprehend? Tell me about it. Now I’ve come to the peace that I’m glad God has given me this extra little trial in my life, because it just shows me how good He is, if that even makes sense! Thanks for reading this little venting session of mine, and even if you don’t have a heart condition, you can still find some area in your life that still needs surrendering to God. Let’s be fully consumed with his grace and with His Spirit so that we can be the best version of ourselves through Him.
