Fear as held me back from so many things in my life. It has kept me back from trying out for sports, branching out, almost kept me at home from this trip,realtionships I've had with people,and mostly in my relationship with the Lord.I came on this trip knowing that i was in need of a change in my life. My relationship with the Lord was summed up by me going to Him only when it was convient for me. I was spiritually dead. I still remember the first couple days and the how the Lord shattered this idea of how i thought my relationship with Him should be like. For most of my life,I thought a realtionship with Him was following certain rules and fitting the mold of what a " good Christian" looked like. I would say and do the things any good Christian would do and was basically hiding behind a mask. Through this trip, the Lord has completely ripped that mask off of my face. He continues to be strength in my weakness and pour his steadfast love in me daily. He's continuing to mold me into the man of God that he has always seen in me. He doesnt see me as dirty, defined by my past, worthless, or a burden. He sees me as His child and embraces me with his love and in open arms. I have fully given Him all the control and don't want any of the control anymore in my life.
Continue to pray that Lord will keep peeling those layers of my heart that are fragile and replace those areas with his love and comfort. Also continue to pray that when the going gets tough, that i wont lean on my own understanding and will whole heartedly run to Him and trust what he's doing in those situations.
I came into this trip searching for hope and in the end found my Perfect Abba, Father.
