Have you ever climbed a mountain? You start the climb admiring the majestic size of God’s creation. You begin your journey and realize that you are off the trail. The rocks are rough, the grass is high, and the top is still far in the distance. You begin to wonder why the heck you are here and regret every step you take moving forward. Halfway to the top you look back and realize that there is no way you could turn back now, though tears are now streaming down your cheeks. You’re tired, thirsty, worn out, and afraid.
That’s how I’ve seen my time here in Kenya. I signed up for this trip so excited for what God had planned for my team and I. I counted down the days, met my team, and began the adventure. I was admiring the mountain we were about to climb. We got on our plane, landed in Kenya, and I realized that I was way our of my comfort zone – I was far off the trail. I came across trials, struggles, and became super homesick. I constantly wondered why God had called me to go on this journey and wasn’t receiving any answers. I was left in a desert without water. I thirsted for answers, I grew tired, I was completely terrified, and I couldn’t see the top of the mountain.
It is once you reach this point of emotional, physical, and spiritual exhaustion that you cry out louder. You pray a little deeper. You are halfway up the mountain and you begin to yell, just to yell. I kept asking God why I was brought here, why I was miserable, why I was struggling. After your temper tantrum is over, you continue climbing to the top, hating every step. It is then that you overlook the view – the beautiful masterpiece that God created. I then realized that the struggle was part of the view. The struggle made the view a little sweeter.
God has given me the spirit of a fighter, but it wasn’t until He sent me to the desert that I realized that the strength of a fighter only comes from The Lord. I have now realized that I wasn’t alone through the desert, I wasn’t alone on the journey up the mountain, I wasn’t left thirsty. I was simply too stubborn to accept the hand that God was reaching out to me. He was filling my cup to drink and I wasn’t drinking it. He was offering to carry me so that I could rest. I had no reason to fear.
As said by Donald Miller in his wonderful story, A Million Miles In A Thousand Years, “The character has to jump into the story, into the discomfort and the fear, otherwise the story will never happen … great stories go to those who don’t give into fear. The most often repeated commandment in the Bible is ‘Do not fear’ … it means we are going to be afraid, and it means we shouldn’t let fear boss us around.”
Going into the second month of our trip – the home stretch – I have completely allowed God to fill my cup, I’ve taken His hand, I’ve allowed Him to carry me when I’m struggling or uncomfortable, and I have entirely relied on the strength that The Lord has provided me with to wholeheartedly love Kenya.
“Come, let us go up to the mountain of The Lord… There He will teach us His ways, and we will walk in His paths.” Isaiah 2:3
“And the God of all grace, who called you into His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong.” 1 Peter 5:10
